THE NOT SO DEEP SOUTH 2000-11

SALAD TATIONS 2 ALL. TIS' I, PETE (ALSO NOWN AS PETRONIUS), UR NO DOUBT FAVRITE EPISTOL RITIN FELINE AGIN, BRINGIN U UP 2 DATE ON DEE GOIN ONS IN DEE MILLAR-YONKIN CLAN OF DIS PASS YAR WIT R TRAYDISHONAL CHRIS MOOSE LETTER.

FURST OFF LET ME WISH U ALL DEE BESTUST AN MOST VUNDERFILL CHRISTMAS, HANNAKAH, GNU YAR, LUDVIG VAN BEEETHOVIN BARFDAY OR WATEVA EVANT U CELERY BRATE AN, IN DE SPITRAT OF DE CEESON, I EVIN XTEND DAT WISH 2 DOSE OF U WHO KOMPLANED ABOT LAST YAR'S LETTAR. LISTIN. IT DOZ NO GUD 2 REMINISK ABOT DE DOG'S LETTARS. DUCK CHEESE IS GONE. GIT OVER IT. AT LEASH I DIDINT GIT KUMPLANTS ABOT DE WEB SITE (XCEPT FROM JERRI). DEN AGIN I DIDINT DOO MUCH 2 DE WEB SITE DIS PAST YAR. HMMM…MAY B DAT WAS DE KUMPLANT? WELL, AT LEASH I M INDENTIN DE PARAKDAFTS DIS YAR.

SEE! I JEST DID AN INDENT. (NEXT YEAR lowercase?!)

FURST LET ME GIT DE OBLIGITORY STUFF OUTA DA WAY.

DE HED OF DE FAMYLEE AN UDDER KAT, ZOOSE, SPENT MOST OF DIS PAST YAR EATIN, SLEEPIN, AN USIN DE LITTA BOX. I PRETTI MUCH DID DE SAME XCEPT 4 BATTIN AROND DE FAKE MEESE.

NUMBA UN SUN, DEREK, FINISHD HIS TURD YAR AT DE LOONYVILLE AKTORS THETAR, AN SPENT DE SUMMA HERE SHOWIN BLATANT FAVORITIZM 2 ZOOSE ALONG WIT HIS FRIEND KATLIN (I LIKE DAT NAME!—XPECIALLI DE FURST SILABL). HE, KATLIN AN JIM ALSO DID SUM XTENTIVE BORD GAMIN AT DE WORD BORD GAMIN CON IN LANDCASTA. DEREK IST NOW IN GRADYATE SKOOL AT PURR-DOO YOONIVERSITEE, HOME OF DE BULLY BAKERS OR SOMKIN LIKE DAT. HE IST WORKIN ON HIS MASKERS OF FINE ART DEEGREE IN THETAR SET DESINE. (SET, 4 DOSE OF U WHO DONUT NO, IS DE ANKINK EJIPGIN GOD OF SOMTKIN OR UDDER.) AT PURR-DOO DEREK HAD HIS FURST XPEERYANT TEECHIN A KLASS. DE SHEW IST NOW ON DE UDDER FOOT.

LAST MAY DEVON GOT HER BATCHULORE DEEGREE IN ENDGINEARINK. (I DONUT UNDASTAN WHY FEMALES R BATCHULORES?) SHE WAS ALSO MAGNA KUM LARDDAY WITCH I THIN IS SUPPOST 2 BEE A GUD THIN. SHE ALL SO GOT A GNU KAR BEE KAUS DEE OLD WUN ENDED UP IN A DITCH WIT HER AN JEAN AFTA A DUNK DIVER HIT EM. TALK ABOT KATS HAVIN 9 LIFES! MOST GUD 4-TUNEATELEE, DEY WERE A-OK. DEVON HAS ALSO STARTED GRADEUATE SKOOL. SHE IS AT EN CEE STATE-HOME OF DE WOLFIES AN IS STUDDEEIN NUKE LAR ENGINEARIN LIKE JIM DID. BEE SIDES A NRC (DAT'S AN EASY THIN 2 SPELL N-R-C) GRANT, SHE ALSO GOT AN A WARD FROM DE ANS (ALSO EASY 2 SPELL)—ALL THO I UN DER STAN HER FRIEND PAT HAD TO TAKE A LOT OF RIBBIN FROM DE ANS PRESSEYEDENT WHO GAVE DEVON DE A WARD.

JEAN KON TIN EWES 2 TEECH MUNKINS AT A CHURCH PEE SKOOL, BUT DIS IST HER LAST YAR (YAH!!!!) KUZ SHE IS GOIN 2 RETIRE AFTA DIS YAR SO SHE KAN SPEND MORE TIME WIT ZOOSSE AND ME KAUS KATS R MOR FUN 2 BEE AROND DEN MUNKINS—KNOT DAT U DIDINT NO DAT.

JIM IST STILL WORKIN IN DA NUK LAR POWAR AN ALSO TEECHIN DA NEX JENARATESHUN OF NUK LAR NGINEARS. I M SURE DAT NEWS IN SPIRES IN ALL U READURS OF DIS GRATE CON FLY DENSE IN NUK LAR POWAR. [ENTAR NOTE OF SAR KASM HERE!]

AN CHEKIN DE NOTES DAT DE DOG LEFT ME AGIN, I NOTE DAT I SHUD KNOT MENTION THINS DAT TEND 2 MAKE PEOPLE ILL LIKE JANET NAPOLITANO, LADY GAGA, OR POLITCS. CHEK! SO DEN ALL DAT'S LEFT IS 2 WISH U ALL A MERI CHRISTMAS.

P.S. OBLIGATORY VITAL SADISTICS:

ADDRESS: 204 TAMARACK ROAD, RICHMOND, VA 23229

PHONE: 804-741-9973 (CALL ANYTIME NITE OR DAY—KATS STANDIN BY—WE'RE INDOOR KATS SO WEAR ELSE R WE GONNA BE?)

EMAIL: devonrexjj@gmail.com

FAMILY WEBSITE: www.dracorex.com ("Talk to the paw!")

DEREK'S WEBSITE: derekmillerdesign.com